Dear Lady-sitting-across-from-us-on-train,
I have a few words of advice for you.
#1: Please buy tickets for two train seats, not just one, when you bring your three year old kid with you. Were you really planning on keeping him on your lap for the 6.5 hours it took us to get to Kiev? Be realistic. Buy another seat. Your child is too old for that, not to mention too wiggly.
#2: Do not let said child fall asleep in someone else's seat when they go to the food car (which was right next to us). It is incredibly rude, especially when he comes back and you don't bother to wake your kid up and that guy has to go seatjack someone else because he is too polite to tell you that you are behaving so poorly.
#3: If you are sitting directly across from someone (me) and you are wearing a dress, do not fall asleep with your knees obscenely spread open. I don't care to see that, thanks.
#4: Do not let your child wear tiny, loose shorts with no diaper or underpants. We don't want to see his baby junk hanging out when he is sitting awkwardly in a seat that is not his own, and we definitely don't want to deal with the smell when he poops his pants while asleep in someone else's seat. That is just gross.
#5: Wear a tampon next time, and don't fall asleep. I feel so bad for the people who have to clean the messes that both you AND your child made on those two seats. I feel even worse for the people who have to sit in them next. Be thankful that ignorance is bliss.
That is all, I believe. Please take my words to heart, and act on them next time you board a train for a duration of this extent.
Sincerely,
Madeline
Note to self: do not take tiny children on public transportation, such as a train, plane, or bus, for a journey that lasts longer than half an hour. Because after thirty minutes, everyone around you instantly hates you for one reason or another. Better to take the car and avoid such embarrassment and animosity.
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