YOLO

Let's be honest here: 2013 was kind of a slump year for me.

After five years of some combination of school, working, and traveling, I found myself back at the other end of California, employed at a more demanding job and working on obtaining my CPA license, playing less soccer than we used to but also coaching a youth girls team, living in a bigger apartment for lower rent, in a town with limited culture and nightlife but overflowing with nature opportunities. After four years of living in the greater Los Angeles metropolitan area and four months abroad, this period of settling down in my old hometown has definitely been a change for us. And we've adjusted without any major hiccups, really. We appreciate everything we have, and have not wanted for anything since we've been here (except maybe a closer international airport and some legit Thai food).

Yet all year long, I couldn't shake this feeling of.... discontent, if you will.

Every year since I moved out of my parents' house after high school, I was working towards something: a college degree, a wedding, an amazing backpacking trip around Central Europe. But 2013?

That was the first year that I didn't have a specific goal to work toward (although my current lack of a CPA license begs to differ).

Settling down has been an odd transition for me. I've struggled with a lot of frustration and anxiety at... I'm not really sure how to describe it. Not having a goal? Not having a major goal, I suppose. It has been hard for me to live without direction, I guess.

Anywho. I have decided that I have had enough of being robotic and unmotivated. I wasted enough days in 2013, and I love life too much to let myself do that again in 2014. From here on out, I vow to make the choice to be happy, to do more fulfilling things with my free time - like hiking and cooking and bonding with old and new friends. I'm going to write more and I'm going to put in more effort coaching our girls team instead of just sitting back while Steve does all the work. I'm going to cook delicious things and get back in shape and finally finish unpacking all the boxes in our place that have sat untouched for over a year now. I want to be able to blog about adventures, and about thoughts that are important to me - not about my struggles and frustration (or nothing at all, as you may have noticed last year...). I resolve to be more proactive about improving and enjoying my life instead of just living it. I demand more from myself, and the way I lived in 2013, simply put, wasn't good enough.

To put it in the words of Mae West:
"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."